COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE AND FAMILY LAW
Divorce and conflict resolution with dignity and respect
Imagine a divorce and conflict resolution process that
- allows good people to be their best despite the crisis they are in;
- is centered on the well-being of the children;
- creates a safe environment for difficult conversations;
- focuses on the future rather than on blame and past grievances;
- identifies and meets the needs and interests of all family members;
- empowers parties to control and create their own mutual settlement;
- creates a climate in which healing can begin to occur.
Imagine a divorce and conflict resolution process where
- conflict is reduced, and dignity, respect, and civility are maintained;
- decisions are made out of one's highest aspirations rather than one's worst fears and impulses;
- problem-solving is informed by expert advice and full disclosure of all relevant information;
- there is no court involvement other than the processing of the final legal documents.
A holistic approach to problem solving
A new paradigm in family law, Collaborative Divorce is a voluntary out-of-court settlement process. Collaborative Divorce is about transforming rather than destroying a relationship. It's about finding common ground on which to plan for the future.
In the collaborative divorce process, you and your spouse are represented by attorney-advocates trained in the collaborative process. These allies use a problem-solving, rather than adversarial, approach to help you reach a comprehensive settlement that meets the legitimate needs of you, your spouse, and your children.
But a divorce or family dispute is much more than a legal event. It is also a relational, emotional, financial, parenting, and (for some) a spiritual event. To ensure a settlement based on your highest aspirations, the collaborative process uses a holistic approach to problem-solving by engaging the assistance of neutral experts in the field of family systems and conflict resolution (Neutral Coach), finances (Neutral Financial Professional), and child development (Neutral Child Specialist). You and your spouse are served by an interdisciplinary “team” of collaborative professionals who strive to transform conflict resolution into a healing process.
Cultivating an atmosphere of cooperation and communication
Collaborative Divorce is counter-intuitive. To make the best plan for your family's future you and your spouse must work closely together and communicate well when you feel least able to do so.
The collaborative professional team understands this contradiction. They provide the support and coaching needed for you and your spouse to work effectively WITH each other, rather than against each other, so you can mutually arrive at solutions for restructuring the family.
Putting your family's best interests first
Collaborative Divorce is focused on the well being of your children. Parents receive the support they need to be healthy parents at a time when it is sometimes difficult to be healthy adults let alone healthy parents. The Child Specialist gives voice to your children's concerns and fears so that Parenting Plans and custodial arrangements ensure that children thrive despite the change in the family configuration.
Your family's financial security is of utmost importance. Great emphasis is placed on providing each parent with the greatest financial security that family resources allow and providing children with two (2) comfortable households. Solutions are guided by the legitimate long-term interests and needs of each family member. Working with a Neutral Financial Professional is cost-effective and smart.
A healthy co-parenting relationship is a gift you can give your children. It is not easily obtained without help from professionals trained in re-establishing communication and respect between you and your spouse. The value a Neutral Coach brings to the collaborative divorce process cannot be overstated. Like the air we breathe, a Neutral Coach is absolutely essential.
At all times, the door is open to reconciling the marriage to health and terminating the divorce proceeding.
Keeping an eye toward a tailor-made and durable resolution
The collaborative process used in Collaborative Divorce sparks creative problem solving because the needs and interests of you, your spouse, AND your children must be satisfied. You and your spouse and all professional team members pull together in the same direction to solve the same list of problems to create win-win solutions. These solutions focus on the future. This leads to a settlement that is tailor-made for your family, and flexible enough to endure as long as necessary.
About Tonda L. Mattie, L.L.C.
Tonda L. Mattie is a collaborative divorce attorney who abandoned the adversarial divorce process in favor of the collaborative approach more than 15 years ago. She brings more than 36 years of experience with divorce and family law to the settlement table.
Learn more about her approach and professional credentials.
The law office of Tonda L. Mattie, L.L.C. welcomes clients from Minneapolis, St. Paul, and the surrounding Twin Cities area.